It’s here again
That place of fear
That state of inner questioning
But not one of growth
One that questions my competence
In my human roles
As father
Husband
Therapist
Son
Friend
Projecting outward
Onto those around me
Belief that it is not me
that feels incompetent
But it is coming from them
They feel that I am incapable
Of fulfilling my roles
That this is somehow
Objectively true
But I know
I can only truly know
How I feel about me
Therefore it is I
And not the other
That believes I am incapable
Incompetent
In my life
I see you there
Yes you
Inner fear
Leave me be
Leave the questions
For my search for wisdom
Not for the purpose
Of undercutting my confidence
Thoughts drive the feelings, feelings drive the behavior.
Yes, thanks for the reminder of that. Powerful stuff!
Individuals who do not feel inadequate in large social groups are dishonest. It’s only the degree of anxiety that varies. Some folks thrive on the challenge to be the focus of attention. Others do not. What about temperament? Those of us who avoid crowds dread the demands of superficial conversation. We simply do not feel “comfortable” among masses. Over-thinking usually leads to self accusations of inadequency. Let’s give ourselves a break. I’m no good among large groups of folks, be they strangers or friends! And among the annoying folks?…don’t get me started!
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